Radha was all broken up and wrecked inside.She and her husband had reached the end of the road,both of them knew the numerous attempts in the past had failed and they were infact now tired of trying any more.

This was the stage when Radha came to me for advice through a friend of hers who I had worked with in the past.

The questions Radha  had in her mind at that point of time were:

 ”Is it normal to have intense feelings of regret and guilt, dwelling on ‘What could be’ and ‘Things may change’?

 Are there others out there that know in their heart of hearts that the relationship will not work, but stay anyhow because of their familiar comfort zone?

 I think what scares me the most is knowing I will be on my own, because I have a terrible fear of loneliness.”

How we worked on this : Well at the very start I told her that many stay in a bad relationship because they hope that someday things will change, it is what they know, and as uncomfortable as it is, it is still familiar. 
Neil Postman said, “People in distress will sometimes prefer a problem that is familiar to a solution that is not.”
 How very true!  And I thought she are so wonderfully wise in even recognizing this in her question.

And when it comes to relationships, no one can or should tell another when it is time to get out.  There are a lot of variables that go into that decision, and it is very personal and precious.  No one should toss aside a relationship with ease!  So, the struggles that she was describing of regret, guilt, etc. were very normal, and again wise. 

I encouraged her to take some time and ask herself these questions:

  What do I feel guilty about?

  What do I most regret?

  What is the TRUTH of the situation now?  How do I feel?

  And maybe the toughest one of all:  If I wasn’t afraid of being alone, what would I do?
 

 She was recommended to totally trust her own self and her heart to know what to do next.   To use this time as your opportunity  to begin getting to know once again who she is and  the power she has to create the life she truly wants.

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