Posted by: Shalini Verma | February 24, 2008

I like the house quiet,she loves the noise : The story of W and B

“My wife of 2 years and I have a running argument. When we are home together on the weekends, I like the house to be quiet, especially if I am working on a project where I need to concentrate.

She, on the other hand, likes noise. As soon as he gets out of bed, she turns the TV or the stereo on. She won’t even be watching the TV. She could be out in the garden /talking to the neighbour….. but she leaves the TV on in the house. When she turns the stereo on,we end up rattling because we have entirely different tastes.

How can we resolve this? I know it’s not as serious a problem as you may sometimes get, but I think our inability to resolve this is a sign of something worse going on in our relationship.

If we can’t resolve a little thing like this, what will we do when we are faced with a big problem? What suggestions do you have for us?”
   ~W and B

Is This Your Story Too ?

Partnerships are in many ways like real, seagoing ships. Just like a sailing vessel needs regular, constant care and upkeep, your partnerships need regular care and upkeep.

The crew of a sailing ship is knowledgeable in the standard practices of seamanship, which is absolutely required to maintain a ship’s seaworthiness. Unfortunately, most people are not knowledgeable in the standard practices of maintaining their partner-ships.

Yet, most people in partnerships of any kind are usually focused on the goals of the partnership, whether building a life or a business or a community center. There is very little attention paid to the partner-ship itself.

And often, somewhere along the voyage of life, the partner-ship is unable to withstand the inevitable and predictable storms of life that can damage both the partners and the partner-ship.

 So remember a few points here:

Make choices grounded in love rather than fear

Mutually agree upon strategies for dealing with predictable breakdowns, i.e., miscommunications, upsets or disagreements, and use them when needed

Commit to win/win outcomes

Communicate honestly from the heart and practice high-performance listening

Share power rather than struggle for it.

Assume personal responsibility for your emotional reality and refrain from blame

Nurture a conscious relationship with your Soul.

Some practical solutions I would put up for consideration in this case would be:

Consider buying a set of cordless headphones.

Set time frames for the times when the house needs to be quiet and when putting on loud music is o.k

Whatever you two decide but try to make it doing it `our way` rather than `my way` and try to make it a win-win solution for both.

Cheers !
 

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